Introduction to Writing an Obituary
Due to many years working in the industry and assisting hundreds of people through their difficult times, I’ve managed to create a comprehensive guide on how to write a well-thought obituary.
In the wake of losing a cherished friend, the role of penning their obituary can appear to be an overwhelming challenge. Fear of not doing them justice, or misrepresenting their life story can be daunting. This guide is here to assist you through this difficult time. By following the steps outlined here, you can craft a fitting tribute that encapsulates the essence of your friend’s life and honours their memory, as you navigate through this emotional journey.
Recognizing the Elements of an Obituary
Before we dive into the specifics of writing an obituary, it’s important to familiarize ourselves with the key components that it should contain. An obituary usually includes the announcement of death, a brief recounting of the person’s biography, a section specifying who they are survived by, and lastly, information relating to the funeral or memorial services. Understanding these individual elements offers us a structure to work within, ensuring that all the necessary details are covered.
Crafting the Opening Lines
Each life is a unique story, and an obituary begins the narration with the end of that story. Crafting the opening lines of an obituary requires mention of the deceased’s full name, their age at the time of death, the place they were residing in, and the date of their demise. For instance, you might say “John Doe, a beloved friend and confidant, who was 45 years old, sadly passed away on June 25, 2021, in Hometown.”
Summarizing their Life
Once you’ve penned down the opening lines, the body of the obituary should detail your friend’s life in a chronological narrative. It’s important to recount the story of their life, from their birth and early years, right through their schooling, career choices, and significant life events. The purpose of this part is to allow readers an intimate glimpse into the stages of your friend’s life, their journey in building it, and their contributions to the world around them. By doing so, you’re inviting memories to resurface, reminding everyone of the life lived and the person behind the name.
Highlighting Achievements and Personality Traits
Detailing their achievements and describing their personality traits is the heart of the obituary. This part should not be a dry presentation of facts. Instead, it should be a humanizing account that highlights who your friend was. The best way I’ve found to approach writing this section is through personal anecdotes and highlighting their essence. As an illustration, when writing an obituary for a well-respected physician friend of mine, I noted, “John, cherished by the community for his selfless service, healed countless lives with his medical expertise. His infectious laughter spread joy in our hearts, and his love for music added a rhythmic harmony to our gatherings. As replicas of his soul, his compassionate character and cheerful demeanor will be dearly missed.”
Mentioning Survived By Information
Next, the obituary should detail which family members and friends survive your friend. This portion of the obituary is not just about listing relations but about acknowledging people left behind – those who share in the pain of losing your friend. Keep in mind to respect the privacy and wishes of the family when including these details. You could say, for example, “John is survived by his loving wife, Jane, their three children, Amy, Jack, and Mia; their parents, and a closely-knit group of friends who have been by his side throughout.”
Announcing Funeral or Memorial Details
This portion of the obituary provides essential logistical information necessary for those who wish to pay their respects. It is advisable to keep this section brief and precise, stating the timing, venue, and protocols for upcoming memorial services. You could mention it in this manner, “A memorial service honouring John’s life and cherishing his memory will be conducted at 2 PM on July 10, 2021, at Hometown Church. In consideration of current health advisories, the service will also be accessible via live stream.”
Ending the Obituary with a Warm Touch
The concluding lines of the obituary should leave readers feeling bonded in remembrance and solidarity. This is a space to share comforting words, quotes, or sayings that encapsulate your friend’s spirit. You might conclude with, “As we navigate these troubled waters, let us keep John’s memory alive within our hearts, finding solace in the good times shared, the laughter enjoyed, and the wisdom imparted. May his legacy guide us in forming a bridge over this chasm of loss and light our path towards healing.”
Reviewing and Publishing an Obituary
Before you make the obituary public, review it for any errors or omissions. It may be beneficial to share it with someone close to the deceased who can provide constructive feedback. While traditionally, obituaries are published in local newspapers, consider digital platforms which facilitate a wider reach to those who knew your friend from different walks of life.
Example of a Well-Written Obituary
To tie all the elements together, here is an example obituary: “Jonathan Swift, a beacon of positivity and cherished friend, aged 54, from Seattle, bid us adieu on October 10, 2021. Jonathan’s spirit was inseparable from his love for cycling, leading him to become the most adored bicycle repair shop owner in town. His zest for life, expressed vividly in his animated conversation and passionate support for local produce, leaves an indelible mark on us all. He is survived by his loving wife, Emma, their radiant daughter, Lily, and his faithful canine companion, Sparky. His memorial service will be held on October 20, 2021, at Seattle’s Riverside Chapel. Please join us as we bid farewell to Jon, honoring his memory by embodying the invaluable lessons he imparted through his kind and industrious spirit.”
